I couldn’t have picked a more soul-crushing Celtics game to
watch from start to finish. I honestly
should have gone back to watching Nickelodeon after the half. Tonight, the Celts, looking to build on their
1-game win streak, took on the championship contending Bucks. I feel like Kenny and Charles could play “Who
Dat” with literally everyone on the Bucks.
Giannis Antetokounmpo?
Ekpe Udoh? Who are these guys? And how are they logging 30+ minutes?
The Celtics as a unit were absolutely miserable from start
to finish. It seemed as if they were
learning new rules as the game progressed.
Faverani learned about the existence of the shot clock in the 2nd
quarter, while aimlessly dribbling near the three point line. Kris Kardashian got his mind off of reality
TV long enough to discover the basic concept of “effort” in the 3rd. After learning he had a pulse last game, Jeff
Green reverted to his old tricks. Fake
hustle, uncreative drives to the basket, and that deer-in-the-headlights look
we are all so used to by now. Bogans joined
the Trillionaire Club tonight – 6 minutes, followed by 12 zeroes across the stat
sheet. Awesome.
But if you’re looking for the glass half-full report, I’m
proud to say that Jared Sullinger is legit…as long as he’s not doing his best Dirk
impression. If you are 6’ 9”/250+, three
point territory should be some sort of faraway land that you never dare voyage
to. I’m all for Sully diversifying his
game, but it should come in the form of post moves and defensive
positioning. Regardless, the guy was a
beast tonight.
I’m also starting to really warm up to Jordan “Be Easy
Steezy” Crawford. This guy is a complete
nutcase in the best possible way. No one
cares if he’s unpredictable and careless, because this dude makes up for it
with ultimate swag. Sure he’ll bomb a
few from the 4-point line, and cross a brother up just to say he did it. But he has been a tremendous surprise all
season long, and is a legit starting guard in the association.
Other than those few bright spots, it’s not a pretty story. Brandon Knight, best known for observing DeAndre
Jordan’s nether regions while simultaneously getting murdered, looked like an
MVP candidate tonight. That in itself
should speak volumes.
But hey, this just means more ping pong balls for us come draft
day.
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