Hard Reset
In the style of Hard Reset, I will give my thoughts based on numbers first.
Number of bullets fired: 623,450
Number of rocket launcher kills: 357
Percentage of boss fights that were totally rad: 100%
Number of completely unnecessary F-bombs dropped in cutscenes: 47
Times I accidentally switched to the wrong weapon only to get myself killed: 16
Total number of colors used in the development of this game: Approximately 1
Overall score: 8/10
Thank you Hard Reset, for bringing me back to a simpler time of gaming, where you have a good amount of fun weapons, a ton of baddies to kill, and nothing else to get in the way. It's 7 hours of non-stop fast paced action that I greatly enjoyed. There's no aiming down iron sights, no crouching, no backing up against a wall for cover, and...ok really? No crouching? Even Half Life had crouching. Anyway, it's fun. The story is a complete mess, and for all intents and purposes I did try to understand it but the comic book style cutscenes that were used made it extremely difficult to follow. There was a corporation, some robots, a giant city, a professor that's dead but alive at the same time somehow, an alcoholic guy named Fletcher who has some special power that's never actually explained, and I don't know, it was just really confusing. I couldn't tell you which of these things was good or bad. Definitely a good experience for 3 dollars and a solid 7 hours of fps'ing.
P.S. I just watched Zero Punctuation's review of Hard Reset after writing this blurb and it looks like we mentioned the same issues, albeit his take on it is much more amusing. Video below.
Grim Fandango
Grim Fandango taught me one cruel truth about myself: I cannot bear to play puzzle adventure games. I completely understand and acknowledge the reasons why adventure games must exist as a genre, that is to tell a well crafted story and take the player through a number of puzzles as opposed to doing any fighting, shooting or platforming. And I truly wanted to love playing through Grim Fandango. I just did not.
I have fond memories of playing this game a couple years back, when myself and my roommate both booted it up and played through about a quarter of the game in one afternoon sitting. It was hilarious, the characters were likable, and the world was unique. For whatever reason I stopped playing it then and figured it was about time to make the full journey this time. So, I started up the game, kept a walkthrough minimized on my second monitor just in case, and began my journey. If I could sum up my experience in one sentence, it would be this: The walkthrough on my second monitor ended up being maximized for the first 5 hours, not minimized, and the game was replaced with a Let's Play Youtube video for the last 5 hours. With a story driven game such as this, I can deal with less than spectacular gameplay (see Bioshock games). But when the gameplay, in this case a series of extremely convoluted puzzles, drives me to the brink of insanity from making no progress in the past half hour of wandering around, it is just plain not enjoyable to get through.
With that all being said, Grim Fandango is most remembered for its characters and story, and to this end it does a fantastic job. Manny, Lupe, Glottis, Domino, Chepito, Hector, Carla, Meche, Salvador, and the rest of the colorful cast of characters are all developed very well, and this more than anything else makes the world feel alive (ironic since it is the Land of the Dead). And just as I remembered, this game is hilarious. Every line of dialog is delivered flawlessly and between the ramblings of Manny as you click on random objects and the lengthy conversations that he has with other characters, you are bound to laugh out loud numerous times.
For a taste, here's a conversation at the beginning of the game with an agitated clown:
ICO
I played two hours of this game and I already want to throw it out the window. Basically, you are a boy with horns on his head who must escape a giant castle via environmental puzzles a la Prince of Persia Sands of Time (minus everything that made that game good). Unfortunately, you are tasked with escorting a princess out of the castle too.
Now, escort missions are usually the worst parts of every game in which they occur. But ICO takes it to a whole new level by making the entire game one long escort mission and giving the princess you are escorting the IQ of a bag of potatoes. She will not follow you, she will not defend herself from harm and she seems extremely reluctant to be saved in the first place. Thus, the way to get her through the castle is either stop every 5 feet and whistle at her like she's a dog or physically grab her hand in game and drag her along. This is video game inception right here: controlling a character who is directly controlling another character. If you get sick of dragging her along, which of course you will after 5 minutes, then a pack of demons will spawn and drag her into a void which ends the game. Sometimes you must complete a puzzle without her right besides you because she is useless and cannot climb or walk, leaving her vulnerable and triggering the spawning of demons. This requires you to, mid-puzzle mind you, stop what you are doing to go rescue her with some of the most clunky combat mechanics I've ever used.
Most of the reviews I have since read give praise to the art direction and the amazing world of this castle that the developers have created. When it comes to game mechanics, some of them just gloss over it as if to say "man up and deal with it". That's ridiculous! When the core gameplay mechanic is a complete chore (in this case, babysitting), it makes the game not fun. I am heavily contemplating even bothering to finish this game because it will mean another 4+ hours of the torturous escorting of a dog that is both blind and deaf (no offense to dogs that are blind and/or deaf). If I do continue, I sincerely hope it grows on me.
At least the music is good.